Body is like a puzzle, and the pieces are not fitting

May 15, 2012 at 7:09 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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The title for Rochelle’s photo — “Just .. ugh” — says it all for me.

This happens maybe once a month or once every two months: I feel like my body is made up like a puzzle and for some reason, the pieces aren’t fitting right or they fell off, waiting to be put back in.

This usually happens when I visit my parents. I love my crazy, unusual, frustrating family. But whenever I drive back to where I live now, there is a frantic feeling. I have bags to get in the house, which is usually a mess, despite Batman’s attempt at cleaning. I have to throw everything out of my bag in a crazy-fast attempt to get ready for work. (Night shift, wee!)

The problem comes the following days, when my life is too busy to put said stuff away and it sits all over my apartment, increasing my general anxiety. And what about with this time, as I hauled a crap ton of stuff for the future yard sale? I need to sort through that and that takes up room. ANXIETY!

And I love the fact that I usually have an empty fridge, so I must rush off to the grocery store and get something unhealthy to eat for dinner. There goes my diet.

I get overwhelmed with my regular life and the projects I take on constantly despite being tired.

I don’t know why I feel this way. It isn’t productive for me: I don’t sleep well; I get depressed and don’t feel like doing anything before work; I bitch at Batman for nonsense things.

I went to therapy for a few sessions years ago (shocker!) for this same thing, but before I knew it, I was off to a new town. I haven’t looked for a new therapist … because anxiety gets the best of me and I am freaking lazy.  And I don’t want pills. I don’t like taking medicine if I can help it.

But I know I need to do something about this before I shut down.

Have you ever felt this way? What are some things you have done to cope?

I have tried slowing down and eliminating things out of my life. I really need to do the breathing techniques again, like my therapist showed me.

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